Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Questions about holding a wedding dinner with our joint account

Suddenly thought of many questions about having a joint account which I saw in LD although Lao Gong and I have a joint fixed and savings account together.

Why do we need to save and pay for the wedding dinner? This has always been the tradition and culture that the guy's parents pay for it.

Since they always say that we must follow the traditional culture by holding a wedding dinner, why don't they pay since it's part of the tradition that the male parents pay for everything? Then lao gong and I do not have to scrimp and save. We are saving 60% of our salary which left quite little to shop at all. The cost of transport, the cost of lving, the cost of a flat, the cost of everything in Singapore is so high. Needless to say, a wedding table costs around $900.

I just want a honeymoon to japan, paris or vienna. I do not need a grand dinner that vanishes in just 3 hours. It sounds very disheartening to see our money fly away in 3 hours time. Nowadays, people lose money by having a wedding dinner whereas in the past, people will gain some money. Furthermore, it seems to be coming out from my pocket as well. I would rather spend my money on the honeymoon.

Tell me what is a good reason for the female to pay for her own wedding? I can't seem to find a good reason to it.

I just hope that when we hold a wedding dinner, his parents will automatically play a part in paying some of the costs. Luckily nobody reads my blog or else I will be shoot by some people with old mentality.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sorry to say this but time has changed. IMO is that maybe in the past, people (parents) used to that. Put it in a way that your husband may not want to use his parents hard earn money anymore. Imagine they already spent alot to "bring" him up. At old age, they still need some money for their "coffin money". Anyway, its still your wedding, not theirs. So maybe you can do ur part to chip in "some" money. :) You can always settle for restaurant if you want to save. Say per table about $4-500. Unless, your future in-laws are freaking rich, then need not think, just ask them pay for all!

I wish my future husband will pay for all as well, but I just dont want wish to see him to scrimp and save all by himself. I want a grand wedding, so I think i must contribute too if I want him to get me a better honeymoon and a better ring. :)

Vanessa said...

Hi anonymous,

Thanks for coming to my blog. Are you from LD or someone whom I know?

We calculated that a couple who needs to get married needs at least 50K - flat, house renovation, furniture, ROM, wedding dinner, wedding photos, honeymoon and he needs to pay for our rings and my diamond ring. I cannot bear to see him work so hard and scrimp, therefore, we contribute equally to our joint account to lessen his burden.

Actually I do not like to hold any wedding dinner since time has changed. It's probably most of the parents in Asian countries who want their sons and daughters to hold because it's part of the tradition/custom and also to show off to the public that their children are married. But what's there to show off? I know that my parents do not care much as long as we are happy but definitely not his parents.

I wish that if they insist that we must follow the tradition, then we should go by the tradtion by all means. It doesn't feel good to make things into "rojak" (although I like to eat rojak but only with you-tiao without the other food). Certain things cannot be made into rojak. It's just like mixing durian, smelly beancurd and coke together.

However all these are too early to conclude anything.

I wish you all the best to you and your future husband!

Anonymous said...

Because it is your own wedding? but since it is ur future in-laws' idea that both of u have a wedding dinner, maybe they should fork out part of the expenses

Best wishes, min

maggie(: said...

Oh that was me :)

Vanessa said...

Hi maggie, thanks for coming to my blog! Are you the pretty mum from LD?