Stupid exam

This is the first time I'm feeling so stressed with the upcoming exam on next Monday.

There is so much information to study and worst of all, I don't know what I'm studying. I felt like an useless person without any direction for this particular exam. The tips that the lecturer gave are useless. Basically, it means to study almost all the notes.

I just pray and hope that I can at least score a credit for this module. Pleaasssseeeeeeeeeeeee!

I'm only looking forward on next Monday because I'm going to make my "ayumi" nails after my exam to pamper myself.

Brithday and Genting Thoughts

Yeah! My birthday is coming soon in less than a month. Lao Gong promised to buy a Crème de la Mer and The Refining Facial from La Mer for me as my birthday present. So happy!

Initially when I told him, he thought that it is just another mosituriser that costs less than $100. But when I showed him the price, he almost fainted but he still agreed to buy for me. He wants face so he bobian and has to buy for me since he has agreed.

I have been wanting this mosituriser for a long time but I can't bear to spend $350 plus on a small bottle of moisturiser. If I remember correctly, that will add up to around $500 for both products. I'm not greedy. Just the 30ml CDLM will do.

I felt sad as well. Sad in a way that I'm getting older. A day of 24 hours aren't enough for me as I still need to do lots of things. I want to learn violin and piano. I want to learn to sing better in one of the professional schools. I want to attend more courses especially advance japanese language to enrich myself. I want to go to France to learn the art of baking delicious and appealing cakes. But before going to France, I want more money. So many "I want"! Oh...I want 32 hours a day!

I will be going to Genting with my family and relatives from 27 to 29 Nov 2007. We have booked the whole coach and some of them even have to sit in another coach because there aren't enough seats for all of us. It has been such a long time since we travelled together. I'm looking forward to that day.

I went to Genting in 1990s, 2004 and 2006. Including this year, this is my fourth time. In 2004, I went to Genting with Lao Gong, Anthony, Derrick and his gf (forgotten her name) in early Nov. Five of us (2 couples and a guy who just broke up with his gf) squeezed in a room and poor Anthony even had to sleep on the table and floor. Luckily, Derrick and his gf left the next day and he could sleep on the bed. Anthony told us that he will win lots of money in the casino because "qin2 chang3 si1 yi4, du2 chang3 de2 yi4". In the end, both "si1 yi4". I won some money in 2004 but lost some money in 2006.

In 2006, I went together with my mum, sister, brother and Lao Gong in Dec.

I think I still have the girlish features because everytime I went into the casino, they would definitely check my passport without fail. They didn't even bother to check my sister's passport who is two years younger than I. Probably, she looks like her age or "chao lao"...wahaha. Let's see whether they will check my passport this year again.

I would like to go to the theme park again. But I will not dare to play Space Shot again. My heart cannot take the excitement anymore. Once in 2004 is enough for me. Lao gong even sat in Space Shot twice and Anthony sat three times within a day. I remembered my hands were holding onto the handle bar firmly even before it shot down and I sprained my shoulders. I would never ever sit in Space Shot again. But if someone gave me SIN$1000, that is a different matter.

Hellish Treatment

I don't deserve this type of treatment from hell!

I did not do anything wrong. What's wrong with sleeping at 7pm? I'm just too tired yesterday especially when I haven't been sleeping well for the past few months. Although I do sleep for 6 hours daily, I often wake up with fright. Do you ever understand all these?

You often said that you only sleep for 4 hours but at least for you, you have a soundly sleep. Try waking up everyday suddenly for 3-5 times.

You often said that I have no stress. Let me tell you this: I'm feeling stressed with you. I don't know when your temper will come and suddenly slap me, pulled my hair or even knock my head against the wall.

I admit I make you angry by shouting at you. But do you understand why I shouted? You never ever understand even when I told you. You pea brain will just forget everything that I have said.

I just felt tired so I tried catching a nap at 7pm yesterday. Why couldn't you just wake me up with your sweet voice just like those days in the past but had to shake me hard continuously? Don't act like your father who always shake you to wake you up! I shouted and things started to go wrong. You pulled my hair out of my bed and screamed at me whether I went out with any guys on Sat night leading to the tiredness in me which I didn't even step out of my house at all. Slapping came with twisting on my neck.

I have been waiting for so many years thinking that you will change to the better. Day by day, I waited in vain. I just feel like giving up this relationship.

Mooncakes

A late post on mooncakes because I didn't have the time to upload the photos to my computer. The festival was on 25 September 2007.

Lao gong bought Shangri La white lotus with double yolks mooncakes for my parents on last Saturday as I love to eat their mooncakes and my mum only told me to buy baked mooncakes and she even reminded me to buy with double egg yolks. Initially she told me to buy mooncakes with four egg yolks but where to buy it and that was loaded with high cholesterol!

It's so sinful to eat mooncakes but the crust by Shangri La is extremely thin and the white lotus is smooth and not so sweet as my parents and I do not have a sweet tooth. Some mooncakes will make my throat feel uncomfortable but not Shangri La.

Someone had given my office a box of Hilton mooncakes on Monday. The box resembled a round moon when it is opened. It's exquisite! And there are two cylinders of tea leaves in the box just in case you feel "jelat" after eating too much mooncakes. My sister did not seem to like Hilton mooncakes as she felt that it was slightly drier than Shangri La. She felt that both mooncakes from Shangri La and Hilton are not sweet enough but white lotus is not meant to be sweet.

One of the mooncake was missing as my colleague took one away before I managed to take a photograph with my hp. Can you see the two round cylinders on top? That is tea. One is Jamine Tea and another is Tie Kuan Yin.

Another company gave Raffles the Plaza but was soon grabbed by greedy colleagues including me before I managed to take a picture.

I'm going to grow fatter and fatter as my hands and mouth just don't listen to my brain and I kept on eating the mooncakes. Yummy!

Wallet found

Yeah! Lao gong's wallet was found by a postman and returned to him.

Why is it by a postman?

The person who found the wallet threw it into the postbox and it was found by a postman when he drove to AMK to collect the letters to be sent to SingPost. I should say that the person who picked up Lao gong's wallet must be a Singaporean as all the important documents are still intact including the ezlink card. Even all the credit cards are intact. The toto ticket is in the wallet as well. Only Singaporeans know that these documents are untouchable as it will trigger off the security alarm if they used it especially the toto ticket.

Although the wallet is clearly shown that it had been scratched by fingernails or something sharp, I'm thankful to the person who placed in the postbox but not threw it away into the dustbin. Probably, the person must be angry that the wallet only contains less than $50 and with so many cards that he can't even use.

I'm greatly thankful to the malay postman who called to Lao gong on Monday based on his namecard in the wallet and helped lao gong to keep the wallet so that Lao gong can collect from him on Wed. He could not collect from him on Tue as he worked late and needed to fetch me home from school at 10pm as he is always worried about me going home late and I greatly appreciate that. By the time I reached home, it's around 11pm. Although I prefer to take a cab, he does not like me to spend money especially on cabs. But he did not know that I took cab almost every morning to work and he doesn't know about this blog of mine. "Zhou Gong", the God of Dreams, always doesn't want to let me go off easily every morning. So it's not really my fault.

Back to topic. Lao gong gave an hong bao to the postman but he didn't want to accept it. Such kind-hearted person is difficult to find nowadays although I'm one of those too...hahaha

If I have picked up a wallet, I will definitely return the whole wallet including money in it. Unless I only find money, I will wait at the same spot for around 15 min and if nobody comes to look for it, I will take it. If it is a huge amount, I will report to the police. The person must be in need of money or else nobody will withdraw or take a large sum around.

In a country (forogotten the country), people can leave their bags and wallets around and nobody will take away. Definitely not in Singapore with the "gahmen" imposing higher taxes and frequent increment of transport cost leading to higher costs of living.

If We Hold On Together

If We Hold On Together by Diana Ross

Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith hope and glory
Hold to the truth
In your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams
Will never die
Dreams see us through
To forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears
All away
Worlds are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let them come
Home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams
Will never die
Dreams see us through
To forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

When we are out there
In the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark
We'll feel the light
Warm our hearts
Everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams
Will never die
Dreams see us through
To forever
As high
As souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I




I happened to find this song with clips of FF7. I used to play this game together with my brother and Lao gong. But after an incident where I landed in hospital, I stopped playing PS completely. Whenever I touched my nose, I could feel that my right side of my nose bone was slightly protruding. No one knows what happened.

Sometimes, I wish to throw all my unhappiness out of my "window" but things just keep on happening. When will I ever really feel happy again?

His wallet lost

Lao gong lost his wallet the second time within three months. I feel sad because of two matters due to this. Firstly, it was troublesome for him to do many procedures - filing a police report, calling to banks to cancel credit card, re-doing of IC, driving license, NETS and police card, and buying of new wallet. Secondly, he scolded me again due to this.

The first time he lost his wallet was in the States on 17 June 2007 (the first day). I had cravings for dunkin donuts and along the way back to the hotel, we drove to a dunkin donuts cafe and bought a dozen at around 1am. As Gilbert was very tired and the drive from dunkin donuts to the hotel took about an hour, three of us took a nap in the car first. Upon reaching the hotel at 3am, lao gong noticed that his wallet was missing and he suspected that he left his wallet at dunkin donuts. He scolded me for wanting to eat the donuts and caused him to lost his wallet. We searched in the car and even went to the same dunkin donuts cafe and the staffs told us that no wallet was found.

He lost the wallet the second time in Ang Mo Kio MRT station last Sat, 22 September 2007, at around 10pm while he was waiting for me at AMK MRT platform for my train to arrive. I was supposed to call him when I was reaching AMK station but I was deep in thoughts and forgot to call him. Luckily he saw me and boarded the mrt. The wallet was put on his lap and he forgot to take it with him as he quickly rushed into the mrt. Upon reaching Yishun, he noticed his wallet was missing and started scolding me for not calling to him in advance and caused his wallet to go missing. Why is it always my fault to cause the loss of his wallet? As I am typing this, my eyes are filled with tears. I wish he can be more understanding to me and pls, no more coquetry to others. These hurt me and will affect our relationship even when we have been together for almost 10 years. But I know that he will not see this. :'(

We returned to AMK station and couldn't find anything. We even went to the control station to ask but nobody returned the wallet. Furthermore, the wallet is new. It's such a coincidence that both wallets are by Braun Buffel.

The first time when he lost his wallet and scolded me, I endured. But for the second time when he scolded me, I exploded and we quarrelled. I don't know why he carries the pouch for. The pouch is for him to put in his wallet and hp but he put in his cigarettes. I hate people who smoke especially someone who is close to me. I don't believe that when a stressed person smokes, the stress will be gone or lessen. If this were to be true, there aren't such things/occupations as depression, psychiatrist or psychologist. In the end, he apologised for scolding me.

I sincerely hope that someone will return the documents to lao gong even if he/she took the money away. The documents (IC, driving license and his cards) are primary.

The ache

My body is still aching after kickboxing on Mon as I had no time to do stretching and some warm up. I reached Amore at 7.25pm as the kickboxing class starts at 7.30pm. It was so packed that even all the lockers were taken up including the small lockers. I had to wait for 10 minutes before I saw a lady taking out her barang barang and rushed next to her. During the 10 mins wait, I can't do anything except to see with a hawk's eyes.

The picture is drawn by stickgirl and she is talented in drawing. I love her pictures as her pictures always depict a story behind it.

It has been ages since I had drawn a good picture (excluding scribbling). Let me think...The last I have drawn is in Temasek Poly in my first year and it has been more than 6 years. I truly miss my art lessons in secondary school. My art teacher, Mr Joseph Ng, encouraged me to draw better and Miss Cheryl submitted one of my drawings to a National competition which I won the third prize with $150 cash and a trophy.

The theme was "Movie" and all I can remember is I drew a scene of a movie. $150 was a lot to me during secondary school in Year 1996.The trophy was placed at my secondary school and I couldn't take it back. I didn't even take my drawings which were placed at the notice board (drawings column).

I'm only good at still life where you give me a picture or an object and I will draw it to look like the picture or object. Ever since my mum sent me for art lessons in Pri 1, I started to develop strong predilection of drawing although I was forced to stop my art lessons in Pri 3 due to shifting to Simei. This never stopped me from drawing and I liked to participate in drawing competitions in a bid of winning prizes especially oil pastels in primary school.

I really miss drawing.

Amore

My Planet Fitness package has expired and I seriously need to exercise. I was considering signing up for Amore or Fitness First. After much consideration, I decided to approach Amore as I was afraid that I'm too lazy to go to AMK and my money will be wasted again. Amore is so much convenient for me as one of the fitness centers is near home and the other is nearer to my workplace.

I met up with one of the sales consultant on last Wed and was recommended three types.

A one year plan costs $120 x 12 with an additional charge of $120 for membership fees. It comes with a free month and that adds up to $1669.20 for 13 months after factoring the GST in. A month will cost $128.40.

A two years plan costs $1320 x 2 years with an additional charge of $35 for membership fees. It comes with a free 1GB MP3 player and 3 additional months, and that adds up to $2862.25 for 27 months after factoring the GST in. A month will cost $106.01.

A three years plan costs $1320 x 3 years with an additional charge of $35 for membership fees. It comes with a free 1GB MP3 player and 8 additional months, and that adds up to $4274.65 for 44 months after factoring the GST in. A month will cost $97.15.

I decided to take up the two years plan which I can pay by installment of 24 months through credit card. I do not wish to commit into the 3 years plan as I will probably be moving out of this estate when married. The sales consultant did the procedures and after more than 10 minutes of waiting, I was told that the plan for two years can only be processed for 12 months installments. So I decided to sign up for three years plan (one year plan is bo-hua) which she said it can be processed for 24 months installment. But she came back to me saying that Citibank can only be used for 12 months installments. I can't afford paying $4274.65/12 which is around $356 per month with my miserable pay.

The supervisor came and tried to convince me to pay a lump sum of $1500 to ease the installment but I'm currently saving up to buy a rolex asap as the discount for rolex is too attractive. Moreover I still owe my own bank account money. I have been dipping into other savings account which I seldom touched as that account is purely for savings. If I take any money out from this savings account, I have the habit to put the money back. I asked the sales consultant whether there was any discount if I were to pay a whole lump sum but there isn't. So no point paying all. I told my sales consultant to let me go home to consider. She tried me into giving more vouchers and waiving off my membership fees. And she managed to psycho me to sign up the two years plan. Used my credit card and was denied as I forgot that I used the card to pay for my school fees that is more than $3300. I called up Citibank to raise my credit limit but was denied as well as I wasn't with them for more than 6 months and her attitude was quite bad.

I paid a deposit of $107 and came back to Amore on last Fri to pay after settling my credit card bills. And forgetful me utilised the card on last Thur and exceeded the credit limit again. I called up to Citibank again and the person was very helpful. I do not want to use other cards as I want to earn more air miles. Citibank PremierMiles card (under Visa Signature) gives 1.2 air miles for every $1 spent and I'm lacking of 6000 krisflyer miles to go to Hong Kong free and a few hundreds mile to be upgraded to Silver. I doubt I will reach PPS.

Signed up with Amore finally and was given the vouchers. The vouchers were pretty useless to me. I thought I can have a $100 voucher which I can use it to buy the hipscarf and gloves for their classes but it is just a 15% discount voucher and other useless vouchers. The good thing is there is a free packet of milk every time I come for a workout. I'm auntie mah. Got free things, I will definitely like it.

The next day (Sat), I went to CardioLatino - a dance workout. I like this because it's fun to learn different dance steps but it is not "siong" enough. After the class, I went for threadmill running.

I went for threadmill running again on Monday and kickboxing yesterday. Kickboxing is "siong" and left me exhausted. At least 30 push-up are in-corporated in kickboxing with some running and abs training. Sibei siong for a person who seldom exercise but I love the workout.

Bellyblitz sounds interesting. In the brochure, it states this: An entrancing signature class with moves inspired from Belly Dance that targets not just the abdomen but all parts of the body. This comes from combining traditional belly dancing moves and infusing it with aerobics techniques. Learn to do hip shimmy with style while toning your upper body with sensuous movements. Mobilize your arms, hips and target your chest area to reveal a confident, new you! Sounds interesting, yah?

School is restarting soon on 25 Sept and there comes my hectic life again. I wonder whether I am able to go Amore at least three times a week to make my money worth when school reopens. I just hope to lose 1 inch in every parts of my body by month end. Just a inch will do.

Supernatural Experience

I am having mixed feelings about supernatural be it ghosts or power. Is it a good or bad thing to have supernaturnal forces around us? Seriously, I don't know.

I encountered ample times but most of the time I heard it. It's just like what I have encountered today.

I was in a cab to work this morning. Initially, I thought the taxi uncle was playing some Malay songs in a soft tune although I looked at the car decal that he's a Chinese. Halfway, I looked at the cost meter and noticed the radio was not even switched on. I listened hard and heard a "guy" singing and sobbing at the same time. Upon turning into a small road to my office, I even heard laughter. I am considered lucky not to see anything.

During the past few years, I have been hearing weird things. Here are some supernatural incidents that occurred:

1. Someone was singing at about 4.45am so I asked my younger brother why someone was singing early in the morning loudly. But he said that he didn't hear anything.

2. I was in the kitchen and heard buddhism chanting. During the first few times, I was afraid that I would quickly run to the living room even when I was brushing my teeth. As time goes by, I got used to it. Probably "it" has been protecting me.

3. I waited for lao gong for such a long time from 9.30pm to 11.30pm as he promised me that he would fetch me and it was late at night in Chinatown. I called him but nobody answered so I took a cab to his company and dashed up. I was arguing with him and despite my loud shoutings, the lady with long permed hair, with her back facing me stood in front of the big printer, did not make any actions to stop us. I saw her walk to the back of office and didn't see her again. Then a short hair girl (I prefer to call her a girl because of her immature thinking). She came out and pointed her middle finger at me when my bf's back was facing her. Therefore he couldn't see it. In a fit of anger, I scolded her "bitch". She should be happy that I didn't scold something worse. After a while, I cooled down and asked my bf why he did not tell me there are two females - one long permed hair and one shoulder length hair, working late with him but he kept on insisting there were only one. Immediately I knew something was wrong and I asked him to pack his things. He knew what I was hinting about and we left the bitchy girl behind.

4. I was standing at the front door of the bus and I saw a bike ride slowly at the expressway. It was a small bike and yet, there was a plump lady as a pillion. I presume it's a lady because of the clothings that she wear. When the bus passed the bike, I was filled with sudden unbelief. There wasn't any pillion at all! There was just the rider himself only.

While I am typing all these, my hair stands.

5. I do not know whether I have supernatural powers because some tragedies that I dreamt just become real. I dreamt about disastrous earthquake in Japan where many people died and it happened the next day. I dreamt about another earthquake in Taiwan/Thailand in Dec 2007 and I even told my bf about it because the images were just too real for me not to believe. I could only see a country starting "T" in my dreams so I think it's either Taiwan or Thailand. Anyway, he didn't believe that and I doubt he will remeber because I always tell him lots of things. I'm too talkative...but towards him only. Even if he believed it, we couldn't do anything because it's a natural disaster. After a few days, news reported an major earthquake in Taiwan causing internet lines to become slow.

6. I dreamt about my ex-bf call to me. He had not call me for many years and on the same day of the dream, he called!

7. I cursed people before and if I cursed people at a certain period of time, it will come true. UNBELIEVABLE! But I hate to believe it but I just have to believe it myself. I can't forgive people easily if they make a big lie or backstabbed me. Although I'm a straight-forward person who will just say out, I will still think of that matter and hatred started to develop. Deep in my heart, I will just curse that person. I believe many people will curse a person who he/she hates because all of us are not saints. The same applies to me.

8. I dreamt about Milan winning a big match but I'm not a soccer fan so I do not know what Milan is that. I asked Lao Gong and he told me that Champions League is coming so it's either AC Milan or Inter Milan. He helped me to place bets on both teams. $5 on each team on that day when the Singapore Pool starts the betting on Champions League. The rate is not bad. AC Milan: For every $1, I will get $15 so betting $5, I will get back $75. Inter Milan: For every $1, I will get $13.50 so betting $5, I will get back $67.50. Indeed, AC Milan won Liverpool by 2-1. We won $65 after deducting $10 of what we spent to bet. I was suggesting to him that we will go to Shangri La or Sheraton for high tea because I love high tea. But in the end, we ate "zhe char" and ordered chilli crab and spent the rest eating at Crystal Jade.

9. I vividly heard someone give me 4 numbers to buy as that "person" was sort of shouting and I jumped out of my bed. So I just bet $3 big and $2 small on that Sat. I bought again on Sunday and it didn't come out. The next Sat, I didn't bother to buy because I did not wish to waste my money. The next day (Sun), lao gong asked me whether I wanted to buy any numbers and I said no and told him that the number won't come out. The next moment, I tripped. I told him again that it won't come out and I tripped again. So lao gong didn't help me to buy. On Monday, I saw the number...it's the second prize. There goes my 6K! No luck for me so it's not considered as lucky.

Liar Liar

I found out something last Saturday at AMK Hub which made me feel mirthless and my heart was filled with anger.

Last Saturday, Lao Gong accompanied me to KK Clinic for routine check-up to see whether my cyst has disappeared so that I do not have to go for surgery. I was happy to hear from the doctor that my cyst has become smaller so my next check-up will be in 6 months time instead of the usual 2 months. My gynae was nice because I needed not have to pay for my consultation.

We went to AMK Hub to shop after my check-up. As we were walking to the upper levels, I saw a shop called D*tti. To think that I have proposed this before to my aunt, who owned this shop, to partner together but she said that the rent is high and couldn't afford it. BULLSHIT!

I even calculated the expenses and profits for her and said that by renting a shop in AMK Hub, we will be able to earn profits because AMK does not have any shopping centres and AMK Hub is surrounded by school, factories, companies and . She even said that the capital is huge - near to a six digit figure. Is she looking down on a young gal (OK, I'm not young already) that I am unable to fork out half of it? She is my mum's elder sister and she lied to me. She can just simply tell me straight to the point that she does not want to partner with me rather than lying to me.

My mood became bad for the whole day. I told Lao Gong we must earn and save lots of money so that I am able to fly to France to earn the art of making cakes and open my own patisserie. I don't know whether this will come true because I'm still studying part-time and will only graduate in 2 years time. By that time, I'm in my late twenties and I do not know whether I have the type of enterprising energy to fulfil this dream of mine. My degree (known as expensive toilet paper to me) will be wasted. Time will be wasted for my studies. Money will be wasted too. Most importantly, I don't like the idea of staying overseas alone. Another option is to work in hotel industry and learn secretly from the chef.


Because of this matter, I'm still lacking of gaiety and happiness till now.


I bought a bar of snickers to stimulate the secretion of endorphins this afternoon.





No changes to my mood after eating it. I shall pop by Royce or Godiva today to buy chocolates. Royce/Godiva, here I come to eat you!

Dream dress

I went to shop for Chinese New Year dresses on last Sat with Lao Gong at Paragon because I felt like wearing dresses for CNY.

We passed by a boutique called POIS and I kept on looking at a white dress with floral prints on a manequin. Upon seeing my eyes glued on the dress, lao gong asked me to go in although I had told him that the dresses are expensive. So both of us went in.

I asked a salesperson, Kelly, to show me the dress on the manequin. She explained to me that the dress was the only piece on the manequin and showed me a similar dress in purple. Although she wanted to take off the dress for me to try, I told her that I would try the purple dress because I did not want to trouble her.

Gosh...the dress fitted me perfectly! I have difficulty looking for dresses because my bosoms are quite big, waist is quite small and bum is big. It was very rare to find a dress that fits me perfectly. Even lao gong said that the dress looked gorgeous on me.

I wanted to buy the dress but when I saw the price, I almost fainted.

$3500+ for the purple dress!!!

When I asked Kelly the price of the white dress with floral prints on the manequin, it cost $4500+. As explained by her, the dress was totally handmade from silk by using a wheel machine and not by those machines which produced cloth in bulk. It will probably take a few weeks to make the material and hence that explained the exorbitant price. The touch was totally different from other normal silk as it was very soft and cooling.

She knew from my expression that the dress was expensive and recommended me other dresses. I liked another green dress that she showed to me but the dress costs $800+.

I had to leave the shop immediately because they were so many pretty dresses in the boutique and I was afraid I might kiss goodbye to my money. How I wish I could own the shop!

Although I didn't buy any dress, I had to say the service by Kelly was fantastic. She wanted to help me to dress and undress but I felt embarassed so I declined her offer. Secondly, she explained the reason of the exorbitant price of the dress patiently and thirdly, she did not look down on us although lao gong and I were wearing jeans and recommended more dresses with a smile on her face.

In fact, the shops (G-star, POIS, GG<5, face="arial">like "walking carrots". It's totally different from others who had said that the salesperson at Paragon were snobbish and did not bother to entertain them. But it's bad to look like "walking carrots".

Now, the white floral dress has become my dream dress as it will only appear in my dreams (unless I strike Toto this week). I think I even have to dream about striking Toto too because the probability is too low and almost impossible.

My dream dress

We went to other shops and all the dresses looked ugly when compared to POIS. Lao gong commented that he had to believe in "yi4 fen1 qian2, yi4 fen1 huo4".

In the end, I bought two dresses from GG<5.>

He gave 10/10 for the dress in POIS. When I asked him to buy for me, he kept quiet about it.

I love the dress but I just can't bear to part my money on an expensive dress that costs $4500+. Probably the day will arrive when I earn $5000 per month and I will buy it.

Arguing

Nobody wants to argue or quarrel with me.

Even my mum and lao gong said that I can argue for several days non-stop and they are sort of afraid of me. Even when they are sleeping or in the toilet, I will just keep on yacking.

I am a type of person who can't sit or stand quietly if someone provodes me. If a person tries to provode me, I will "reciprocate the favors". They are doing me a favor by quarreling with me. The more they quarrel with me, the happier I am. I'm a weirdo.

I will argue with the person no matter how long it takes. I can still remember when I was in Primary school, I argued with my classmate's mother for very long until she stomped off. She said that I pushed her daughter down which was simply ridiculous. I was so skinny that time that even the wind could just blow me away while her daughter was so big sized. It was definitely not the truth so I quarreled with her while I saw her daughter hiding.

She stomped off, complained to my mum and my mum scolded me. But the usual me quarreled back and got beatings. I was so used to her beatings that I did not even feel the pain.

My mum always said that I should become a lawyer since young since I like to argue. Until one day, my result showed that I can go into legal studies and she forbiddened me to study that course. All she said is "No future at all!" I suspected that she was afraid that I liked to argue more if I start to study legal studies. Or even worse, offend people with my mouth.

In Les Dames, a dames (Soluna') argues with me today. Alas, someone argues with me. I have been waiting so long for someone to provode me because my family members and friends know that I can't be provoded. She interpreted wrongly and said what I had said was contradicting. Of course, I had to argue back since it's a paragraph that is straight to the point and yet she made a hoo-haa out of it. Furthermore I did not make any personal attack on anyone when I wrote "Dun tell me a person do not have the basic common sense that it's an additional expenditure from seeing my post. Then the person truly does not exercise his/her intellect ability" unless she thinks it's she herself. Then it's she herself who orchestrates her own personal attack by being pitiful to let people think that I'm pin-pointing at her. I do not care what others think about me - be it a good or bad person. All I want is to argue.

Argument equivalent to argumentative verbal exchange adds fun to my life. Or else life is so boring.

However I only argue when someone steps onto my tail. I will let the person to have a taste of her medicine in double dosage. On the other hand, I will return twice to the person if the person treats me well sincerely.

My arguing helps during shopping where the term mysteriously changed to "bargain". I can bargain until the price slashed from RM$180 to RM$60 in KL. Even in Far East Plaza, I can even slash the price to 80% of the original price. In Causeway Point, I bargained and managed to get 30% - 50% discount for the watches.

Without shopping, life is boring too.

Looking for a new flat in AMK

Gahmen is always urging people to get married but it's so difficult to buy a flat. Lao gong and I do not have inside info from HDB regarding about WIS.

Even when HDB hasn't announced WIS, I will able to see people queuing at 6pm at HDB hub when the actual WIS starts the next day.

Balloting is so difficult to get when thousands of people applied and only 200 people will get it.

Even the condo prices have risen so much in the past few months. Probably they expect us to stay with our in-laws. But I would rather not get married. I prefer "er ren shi jie" first.

Imagine we are trying for a baby and they come knocking on the door! Or they probably do something worse? Eg: Peeping in, listening, opening the door with their key....

How I hope a sweetie is able to tell me about HDB inside info about WIS! We (or probably it's just him) would love to have a new flat in AMK or somewhere near AMK. I would give you a big hug and treat (but he pays)...hehe

Lancome Hypnose Mascara turns from bad to good

I was going to take my company pass photo again and decided to give Lancome Hypnose mascara another chance It used to make the end of my eyelashes droop. I applied on my eyelashes two days ago using zig-zag motion by slowly zig-zag up the mascara wand. The result is much better than applying by sweeping my eyelashes up.

Here's a photo of my eye after application of the mascara. My eyelashes looks like having eyelash extension since my eyelashes are short to start with. I'm satisfied with the result except that it took slightly more time to apply.









I apply using zig-zag motion.

I will be going to lao gong's friend's house to celebrate x'mas. Probably we will buy some famous amos cookies and a bottle of alcoholic drink to his house since his friend will be buying the log cake and other essential to make it a joyous night.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Enjoy your long weekend this week and even for next week.

My new Gucci bag and his Zeno watch

There's a Gucci sales for selected items currently and I told lao gong that I wanted a gucci bag. And he agreed!

We went to Gucci at Paragon yesterday and he bought this for me. My first Gucci bag! I took the photo with my K800i.

While waiting for him, I saw this bag in pink strap. It was retailing at $500 without any discount as it was one of their new collection. Thus I was thick-skinned and asked whether there was any similar bag with discount and she showed me the blue strap bag. It was retailing at $329 after discount. The price was quite reasonable for a Gucci bag.

After lao gong came to the store, I saw a A4 size classic bag but there wasn't any discount. It was retailing at $1130. However both of us have not taken our bonus so no choice, I had to put the bag onto the shelf again.

He bought the blue strap bag for me and it was the last new piece. How lucky I am!

While waiting for the sales associate to return lao gong his card, I saw a wallet. The exterior was the normal printed gucci canvas with red leather trimming and the interior was red leather. There's a red shoes accessory and a gucci silver tag connected together by a chain on the wallet. So pretty!

He wanted to buy the wallet and even asked the sales associate to take a new piece. Luckily, she didn't hear that as she was serving another customer or else I will feel heartpain for him. The wallet was selling for $364 after discount. I quickly asked the sales associate to put it back in the shelf or else I will be tempted to buy it.

He said that this bag is for my x'mas present and valentine day present. I am a happy gal now.

I bought for him a Zeno watch which costs $819 with some discount on 28 Nov 2006 for this year x'mas cum next year valentine day cum next year birthday present. I chose the cheapest one or else I will be broke if I chose the one retailing at $1289 - the second cheapest Zeno watch in Emotus.

I did not take a picture of it. However I found a similar photo of the watch in the website.

Front

Back

Isn't it nice and has "character"? I like the back of the watch. There are 25 jewels in the mechanism of the watch. It's worth the price and a lot of people who own both Zeno and Tag Heuer said that Zeno is more durable than Tag Heuer. I did a lot of research first before buying this watch. Zeno does not advertise at all and invests the money on the product. This helps consumers to buy at a cheaper price for a superior watch. Last but not least, the box is nice.

Some people will think that I bought him an expensive gift while he gave me a slightly cheaper item and not worth it. But love is not measured by money. Furthermore during normal days, he will buy anything that I like. Whenever I am with him, he will buy and pay the food for me and carry my shopping bags. Pls continue doing this forever.

My virtual X'mas tree

I have just created my virtual x'mas tree under the nick of snow_angel. You may drop a msg for me and each msg will become an ornament of my x'mas tree. Currently, it's bare. How to have lots of ornaments when I have just created only?

http://www.mtvasia.com/Funstuff/Xmas/xmas.php

Treasure your loved ones

I always throw my tantrum at lao gong although I really didn't mean it to. Most of the time, he didn't bother talking to me or simply didn't answer what I have asked him.

I always remind him not to smoke and he still continues smoking which I really dislike. The reason is I'm afraid of losing him.

Due to these, I always hang up his calls (or he will hang up my call) before things get worse. Sometimes when we quarrel after meeting up, we will start using vulgarities and I will just ask him to go and die although I don't mean it at all. All I want is his care toward me.

Here's a story which tells us to treasure our loved ones and not to throw tantrums easily. My eyes become watery after reading this.


Only Love

It's a cold February night. People are bustling through the streets, either pulling up their coat collars or wrapping scarves around their necks, trying to stay warm.

It's so cold today.I'm standing at my window, looking at the people moving like little dots. Standing in a heated room, I'm beginning to pity those people. Why don't they go home? Do they plan on wandering until morning?

"Almost time to go home! My boyfriend must be going crazy." One of the nurses breathe a sign of relief. "Still needs to work overtime on Valentine's Day. It's so unfair!"

"You are fortunate." Another nurse says. "Some people don't have anyone waiting for them."

"You mean Dr. Shu?"

Like Sherlock Holmes, my ears perk up when I hear my name.

"Do you remember how she lost control on this day last year?"

"Of course I do." A nurse shudders. "I've never seen Dr. Shu like that. Crying and yelling, like she was crazy."

They are talking about how I was last year. They are correct. I was out of control, like they said.

"You can't blame Dr. Shu. If my boyfriend died in front of my eyes, I would probably go crazy as well."

"Keep it down. She hasn't left work yet. She might hear you."

The two nurses are too late. I heard the entire conversation through the canvas wall.

"Dr. Shu, what are you doing standing here?"

Just as I was deciding whether or not to reveal myself, another nurse exposed me. I awkwardly step out. The 2 nurses who discussed me start to blush. Their faces became redder than the bow on Valentine's Day chocolates.

"I'm waiting to go home." I pretend that I didn't hear anything.

"Dr. Shu, you must have gotten too involved in your work. It's already past time to go home. See you tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day!" She waves goodbye.

"Happy Valentine's Day." I wave back and watch the 2 nurses hurry away.

That's fine. I was ready to go home anyway. Even though no lover is waiting for me, at least there's a lazy cat waiting for me to feed.

After I come home, the first thing I do is feed the cat. I forgot when I first had the cat. Probably since last year's Valentine's Day. At that time, I was like an abandoned cat, with eyes filled with despair. Cats don't cry, I do. That's the only difference.

"Better drink all the milk or I'll skin you." I threatened the cat. Her name is Christine, my least favorite English name. I don't know why I named the cat Christine. Christine meowed once to let me know she heard me, but her eyes are complaining about my severity. Her eyes remind me of someone I used to know, standing in front of me with eyes of rebellions.

An year ago today, I had lunch with my boyfriend and took the opportunity to complain to him.

"Today is Valentine's Day. Why didn't you give me any flowers?"

He raised his eyebrow. "Why should I give you flowers? You are not my anyone."

"Then... you should at least give me a card!" I pouted my lips, hurt by his tone.

"I know, I know. After lunch, I'll send you an e-card."

E-card. That sounds so impersonal, but that's the way he is. "You have to e-mail it to me. I'll be waiting." I excitedly smiled and planned to sneak home after lunch to check e-mail. Even though he wouldn't use any romantic words, I still looked forward to the card.

"I can't stand you women. Why do you make such a big deal out of Valentine's Day??" He grumbled while eating his food. His comment induced me to fight with him again.

"You are not romantic at all!! Don't you watch any Japanese drama?"

"Japanese drama? I only watch Discovery Channel."

"Your life is so boring." I made a face at him. "One recent drama was really good. You should have watched it."

"What's that drama called?" He didn't believe in the love portrayed in TV and movies. He always thought they were lies.

"It's called 'Story of A Century'." I gladly answered.

"What kind of trashy plot did it have?"

"What do you mean trash?? Show some respect!" I was so angry. "That drama was very touching, and the theme song was beautiful as well. It's called 'Only Love', performed by Nana Mouskouri." I wonder if he knew who Nana was.
"Nana, I know her. A Greek singer with really expensive albums."

"Her voice is worth it." Even though I secretly agreed with him, I couldn't bring myself to admit it.

"Whatever." He glanced at his watch. "I'll give you 5 minutes to tell me the plot. After that, I'm leaving."

I tried hard to explain 6 hours worth of story in just 5 minutes. The drama portrayed the love stories of 3 generations of women spanning 100 years, from 1901 to 2000. Each generation was portrayed by the same actress. The story was tear-jerking.

"What's so touching about it?" He asked, after listening to the story.

"Don't you think each generation's story is wonderful? If I have such great screen writing ability, I wouldn't be a doctor anymore. I would become a screenwriter."

"If you become a screenwriter, I bet no one would watch the show. The TV station can go out of business." He quickly interjected.

"I'm going back to work. Hurry and send me the card!" I was so mad that I went home immediately, not even finishing my coffee.

As soon as I walked in my door, I turned on my computer and go online.

Staring at the empty in-box, I began to reminisce about how we met. Maybe no one will believe me, but my boyfriend and I were actually neighbors. Our homes were only 1 wall away. Ever since we were kids, we liked to fight with each other all day long. I still remember when I moved to the country that year. Used to the city life, I couldn't get used to the simple life in the country. After school, I would just go home and do nothing. Whenever that happened, he would always come over to tease me.

"Why are you staring off into space??" He loved to pull on my hair. "You're so ugly when you're doing nothing. But you're also not pretty when you smile." In other words, I'm really ugly.

"You're the one who's ugly!" I pull back my hair. "If you think I'm so ugly, why do you visit me??"

"Can't help it. My home is right next to your home." He argued.

"Then I'll move!" The next day, I drew a line in the ground using some white chalk. A line that I forbid him to cross.

That year, we were both in the 5th grade. We couldn't stand each other and hoped the other would move away. But 5 years passed, and neither of us moved. Not only that, we got into the same high school and into the same class.
"You're that infamous couple." All the students and teachers in the school would say whenever they saw us.

"We're not!" I always tried to explain. "We're only neighbors." At that time, I hated my parents for making us live next to him.

"My standard is not that low." He would say. "Who wants her to be a girlfriend?? It's not like I don't have eyes."

"Yes, I know your eyes are on top of your head." I really disliked him. "Better than having eyes on the bottom of my head like you." He implied that I couldn't judge guys. At that time, I had a crush on a senior.

I didn't think that his sarcasm had a hidden meaning. After a while, I found out that the senior student had lots of girlfriends. When I cried about it, he silently passed me a handkerchief and awkwardly held me in his arms.

"I told you he wasn't any good." He roughly comforted me. I cried in his arms the whole night, and began to see him in a different way. Things began to change between us. We still fought all the time, but he started to look at me differently. And I blushed and my heart beat faster when he was near. We both knew: we fell in love with each other.

Even with this knowledge, neither of us said anything. Even though we would not be able to resist and kissed each other constantly. Even though we cared about each other's every moves. Both of us refused to admit our love.

Time flew by quickly, and it was time to face separation. I chose to study medicine, and he chose physics. Yet we still couldn't separate from each other. Our parents worried that we didn't know anyone in Taipei, so they forced us to live in the same apartment building. Once again, we became neighbors. We still fought, but sometimes we fought into the bedroom. Alright, we became lovers, but we still wouldn't say we loved each other. We didn't even spend Valentine's Day together until he saw me share dinner with a man one Valentine's Day. That night, he waited for me in front of my door and said that he would take me out to dinner on Valentine's Day from then on. I have to say that he was very arrogant. But I nodded and accepted his request. Since then, we spent every Valentine's Day together. After graduation, I became an intern. He started a small computer company with some friends and became a programmer. We were busy with our own lives and had no time for a relationship. Three years later, I became a doctor, and his business began to boom. We separately moved to bigger apartments and stopped being neighbors. On the surface, we left each other. In reality, we were still together. We spent every Valentine's Day together but each year became more dreary than the next because he never told me he loved me even with all my hints.

Facing the empty in-box, I suddenly grew very angry. He wouldn't say it and wouldn't send me a card. What did he mean? Who did he think I was? I called his cell phone.

"Hello." He picked up the phone.

"I didn't receive the card." I immediately showed my displeasure.

"You didn't receive it?" He seemed really busy. "But I sent it."

He was really busy but I didn't care. "I didn't receive it. Send it again."

"Okay, I'll send you 100 times. Is that good enough??" He said with impatience. His tone further infuriated me. Is that how lovers speak to each other?

"Don't bother sending it to me. And you don't have to pick me up tonight.

I'll eat dinner by myself."

"Don't be childish, ok? I'm really busy."

"I AM childish!" I hung up the phone and tears rolled down my cheeks.

Childish?? Why didn't he consider the situation? We've gone out for so many years and spent countless Valentine's Day together. I never received any flowers nor cards from him. Now, I just want a little e-card. Is that too much to ask for??

I unplugged the phone from the wall and turned off my cell phone. I didn't want to hear his explanations. After I returned to the hospital, I instructed the receptionist not to forward me any phone calls. I wanted to concentrate on work.

Because there were so many emergencies today, I was sweating 1 hour later and forgot about our argument.

"Dr. Shu, please take a look at that patient."

As I was collecting my equipment, the shrill sound of an ambulance sounded outside the ER. When I stepped out the door, the emergency medics hurriedly wheeled in a gurney.

"What happened to him?" I asked the 1st medic. Everyone else were trying to help put the patient on the gurney. He was covered with blood.

"Car accident." The medic replied. "Very serious. He may die."

I nodded and ran to the operating room with them. When I arrived, the nurses told me that the man had already stopped breathing and also his heartbeat also stopped

"Prepare for shock." I calmly instructed the nurses. Saving people is our duty. We can't lose our calm.

But when I saw who laid on the operating table, I lost my calm. That person was my boyfriend!

"No..." I stood in shock. "NO!!!" I grabbed the paddles and continuously shocked his body. His body bounced up and down from the shocks. The scared nurses went to find another doctor, to tell him that I was crazy.

I didn't know if I was crazy or not. I just wanted to save my lover. Even though we fought all the time. Even though he never showed me his love. I still wanted to save him. He still owed me a card. He couldn't die! I threw away the paddles and began to press on his heart. I pressed with all my strength, hoping it would revive him, but he didn't wake up. He didn't even say "It hurts". He just laid there with his eyes closed, punishing me with his silence.

Dr. Jian angrily pushed me away. By that time, I couldn't see clearly anymore. I cried. I wailed. I bowled until no sounds could come out of my mouth.

"It's too late, Dr. Shu. He's already dead. I'm sorry." Dr. Jian patted me on the shoulder. They knew each other and ate together once. I introduced them.

"He can't die." I shook my head. "He can't die!!" I struggled to run to him.

"Dr. Shu, control yourself!" Dr. Jian slapped me. "I understand what you're going through, but you're a doctor."

Yes, I'm a doctor, but I'm also a regular person. How can Dr. Jian understand how I feel? I've loved him for so many years that it's become a habit. How can I just throw away a habit? Besides, he still owed me a card. "I want him to live! I want him to live!" I ran to him again and tried to knock the life back into his body.

"Take her away!" That day, I lost my control and my professionalism.

And that day happened to be Valentine's Day.

Afterwards, I asked his co-workers why he left work early that day.

They told me that after I hung up the phone, he tried to call me several times but couldn't reach me. Worried, he drove to the hospital to find me and got hit by a large truck on the way.

When I heard this, I froze. My tantrum killed him. Just because of an unmailed card, he died. After that, I lost my privilege to be childish.

Like an abandoned cat, I couldn't even cry anymore. After his death, I couldn't cry anymore, regardless of how touching the plot or how tear-jerking the dialogue. They didn't affect me anymore.

Now, I'm only left with a cat and a seldomly used computer. Stepping over the cat, I turned on the computer. Even though I know no one will send me a mail, I still hoped that someone will remember me on this day.

Meow, meow. I looked at Christine to see what's wrong. She finished her milk. I went into the kitchen to get her more milk then came back to look at the computer screen.

I have.... 100 emails! Who would be bored enough to send me 100 junk mail?

I was just about to delete them all when I received another mail, and this one said: "Because of system error, we could not send these until today.

We apologize for the delay." The sender was my ISP.

I looked at the 1st mail. It showed the send date is last year's Valentine's Day. My heart began to beat fast. Could he have sent these?

With a trembling hand, I opened the mail. The first thing that popped up was a gorgeous red rose set against green leaves. Then a beautiful melody began to play.... "Only Love". I couldn't believe it. The rose was so beautiful and the music was so dreamy. I almost thought I was in a fantasy. Most touching of all were the words underneath the rose, because the words read like a beautiful poem.

"Hwei."

That's my name.

"Knowing you so many years, I've never sent you any flowers. Today I send you a rose."

I received it and it's so beautiful.

"You know we are always fighting. We can never really open our hearts and tell each other how we feel."

Yes, but it's all your fault for being so distant.

"I know I always make you mad by the things I say."

Good that you're admitting it.

"But today I want to say to you: I'm sorry, and I love you."

I waited so many years for those words.

"And I want to tell you a good news. I finally saved enough money."

You already have enough money. Why did you need so much?

"So Hwei, let's get married!! I was afraid to propose to you, because I didn't trust in my ability to give you the good life you deserve. But now I've saved enough money so we don't have to wait anymore."

Who wanted you to wait? I'm already yours.

"Today, I use this card to propose to you. Will you marry me, Hwei? Will you?"

That's the content of the whole card. Like a fool, I kept reading his words and talking to him. It's like I can hear his voice and see him again.

As if it's back to 1 year ago with us constantly fighting.

The song played over and over. Repeating Nana's heartbreaking voice.

Only love can make a memory. Only love can make a moment last. You were there and all the world was young and all it's songs unsung. and I remember you then when love was all, all you were living for, and how you gave that love to me...."

The lyrics of this song fits our love so closely. When he was alive, my world was so young. Every day, I could find a something different to fight with him about. But after he left, my life is only left with memories and coldness that will never go away.

"Will you marry me?"

When I read these words, my tears unconsciously came, wetting the keyboard.

Will I? If he's in front of me, I will definitely kick him and call him a big fool. If I wasn't willing, I wouldn't have waited until today.

So I moved the cursor over the "Reply" box, and typed the response that I've already prepared for so many years - "I will."

I will - be by his side for the rest of my life. I will - fight with him forever. That is how I answered him, but the only response I got was the repeating song "Only Love."

Nevertheless, I opened every single letter, accepted every singled rose, and typed the same response: "I will."
I replied 100 times, and "Only Love" played 100 times. In this cold Valentine's night, the line that's been broken for 1 year finally got reconnected.

I answered you. What about you?

Mistaken as Myolie again

I'm often being mistaken as someone when I'm walking on the streets 2-3 years ago till now. Now it's getting more and more frequent.

They thought that I'm Myolie Wu and some even shouted Myolie Wu to me. There was an incident when a gal who even asked for my signature at Tiong Bahru. When I went in to JB last Sat, Lao Gong told me that there was a gal in City Square who kept on looking at me and told her bf that she saw Myolie.

Even my relatives, lao gong and colleagues said that to me. OMG!!!

How I wish I can be pretty and famous like her! But I'm just too fat to look like her. I know that she filmed a drama a few months ago and purposely ate more to be fatter. Probably that is the reason why people mistaken me as Myolie.

I think I better wear specs more often in case people will be mistaken that I'm Myolie again. Although it's a good thing to look like a pretty babe, I find it pai seh. And I have my own features as we are "manufactured" from different factories.

Here are some photos of Myolie.

Do I look like her???

When I was searching for her photo, I found out that her birthday is only 1 day later than mine.

Tamade

Some people will probably do not know what is 'tamade'. But if I type 'Ta Ma De', most of you should know.

I am flared up with the profile in my blog. My friend told me to change the template and settings, and yet it doesn't work at all.

Luckily, there's always retail therapy for me. Pretty Mendy helped me to buy two Paul & Joe eye gloss (gold and aqua) and the moment I took from her on Sat, I went to try the gold colour out. The eye gloss was so pretty. I used it again on Sunday to Shangri La Hotel and it really makes my eyes go bling bling. I love it!

I can't imagine how many Paul & Joe items I have. Lao Gong even told me not to buy too many cosmetics but I requested him to buy maquillage lipsparkle for me. He agreed....wahahaha.

I shall go and change to my old template now.